Yeah… Why is that, I wonder… It’s not as if the human race has done anything to make me hold a low opinion of it…

Okay, maybe I have never seen things in rose-colored glasses, and I might have had a dark view on human nature and the future of mankind since I was seven, but that doesn’t necessarily make me cynical. It just means that I like to look at things as they really are. And they are awful, believe it or not. They are sickening beyond belief.                       

When you are intoxicated with overly optimistic expectations, a cynic can help you. When you think the world is a wonderful place, let us fix your mind, so you can open up to what is really going on. In short: we can help you opening your eyes so you’ll see what is truly there.

Your naivety and tenderheartedness is unpleasant, to say the least. Of course you think you are like a necessary counterweight against cynicism, but in fact you are just being silly. That is why we as cynics are always struggling to get our point across. Even if we are the voice of reason, we will commonly be dismissed, and our advice will often be ignored.

You yourself will probably refuse to take in what you are reading here, but that’s only normal. Given a persistent culture which continuously reinforces the “all is fine” propaganda, it would be strange if you didn’t trust that everything will be alright, in the end.

So, being positive is the more comfortable way to go. Nevertheless, this post is an honest effort to try to reach your warm, stupid and senseless heart and turn it into the cold stone that it ought to be. Let us try to achieve that, will we?

First of all it is elemental to take in that most human behavior is motivated entirely by self-interest, and that the greater part of the worlds suffering is human-caused. Man is in essence egotistical. Even in what seem to be acts of philanthropy, people only choose to help out others because of what they expect or hope to get in return.

Second: everybody lies. They lie to themselves and they lie to others. Their life is a lie, because that is what makes it bearable. If people would see their life as it is, they would jump of a bridge first chance they’d got.

Third: you are not better than anybody else. In fact, since you are reading this blog, chances are you are more untrustworthy than others and your moral code probably sucks. Only a dishonorable mind would be so easily enticed to visit a website called “The Secret Life of Everybody”. Ask yourself what you’re doing here, and admit to yourself just what a sleazeball you truly are.

If you can fundamentally empathize with the above three principles, you might be eligible to be (or to become) a cynic.

Just a warning, though. Being a cynic is quite a responsibility. You must cast away all nonsense and only allow reality to enter your mind. Again, the truth is out there, but it is seldom applied. That is why opinions of cynics have a negative connotation.

For example. To a cynic, the best thing that could happen to this planet is human extinction. If we all just would stop breeding, the world would be a much better place. There are those who believe that this is an adverse view, but I believe cynics are merely sensitive to what’s truly going on in the world, and since humanity’s competitive selfishness and aggression against nature has nearly destroyed the world, we cynics consider it to be better to wipe out humankind entirely, to salvage what’s left of the planet.

We love to speak our mind, without care or concern for social niceties. It is wonderful to be impulsive and to not overthink everything. Of course, we hurt people this way, but we feel a bit sorry for folks who never enjoy the profuse freedom that cynicism awakens. Just because positivists want to seem nice they put political correctness before anything else. It’s such an old-fashioned worldview, but we are here to defuse that attitude.

Now, to make sure you fully understand, it will be quite hard to be a cynic. Sure, the truth will set you free, but it won’t necessarily make you happy. Most cynics are too authentic to find happiness. We don’t care about people’s sensibilities as we do not want to live in a world of illusions and lies, and so, as an inevitable consequence, we are absurdly disliked. Being honest will hurt people’s feelings, but we think it’s better to hurt someone than to be a fucking liar, all the time. Once you’ve told the truth, you’ll find that everything else is like cheap whisky.

You might say that what I am telling you is a very bleak view on society, but if you were able to look through our eyes for only a day, you’d see what we’re talking about, and you’d feel just the same as us about the cruelty and barbarism that is lurking in human nature.

If you too like sincerity and prefer an authentic life, if you refuse to live in lala land, you should try to discover the cynic in you. If you find him or her, come and join us.